Look, I's married now!!!

So Mr. Smith and I have officially declared ourselves a "couple". We're in love and all of that mushy stuff. And I'm really happy yall! Probably the happiest I've ever been. Neither of us are the same people we once were and I'm thrilled we were able to find our way back to each other. I've been in Chicago for work (well, the Suburbs anyway) since Friday and will be here until next Monday, so we get to see each other when we're free, so that's good. He's given me a couple of pictures of himself so that I can see him everyday. I laughed because the last pic I had of him, I left it in a frame a little longer than I should have after our breakup and my girl K wound up taking it to "get rid of it". I haven't seen it since, lol! I've always wondered what she did with it, so I'm definitely gonna have to keep these out of her view.
I joined a fantasy basketball playoff league with some of my boys. It's pretty cool. Since I didn't have computer access this weekend (I was honeymooning, lol!!!), I started my team on Monday so now I have some catching up to do, so keep yall fingers crossed for me!
My brother is out of jail and is showing signs of wanting to change his life, so that's pleasing to see.
One of my girl's closest friends came in town this past week, and it's causing quite a rift between her and present boyfriend. He thinks that they're too close to be just friends and he doesn't like it one bit, which is understandable. The guy took her to our Senior prom and were pretty tight for a while. She really liked him, I could tell (though we never discussed it in detail, I could tell that they had "IT"). So of course, this isn't just some friend, more like the one who got away. Anyways, my girl keeps planning all these activities for us all to do, but my boy thinks that she is doing all this for a "friend" (too much attention given to him) rather than for her friends. I keep reassuring him that there isn't anything to worry about. So hopefully this will all blow over soon.
My nerves, my nerves...

Taking the good with the bad

So in addition to the good things that have been happening to me personally in the past week, I've taken some hits along the way. Well, not me specifically, but some of those I hold dear. My brother got indicted and has to go back to court next month. Hopefully my sister and I can bail him out on Friday, because he's working my nerves calling everyone every five minutes when he knows that most cell phones don't accept collect calls. Then my girl Pookie got attacked over the weekend. Some asshole hit her over the head and tried to rip off her clothes. I thank God for that beautiful person he sent driving down that street that night to scare off the attacker. She's ok on the outside, but I'm worried about what's going on inside her head right now.

On a brighter note, me and my guy are still taking it slow. We talk everyday. I was explaining to one of my friends last night the similarities Mr. Smith and I share with Carrie and Mr. Big, lol. Yep!!! Every Carrie needs a Mr. Big, and I have mine. Here's why:
1. I have a great group of friends who I can share my ups and downs with and they still love me, no matter what (and vice versa, of course)
2. I blog (Carrie writes, lol)
3. We keep finding our way back to each other (As did Carrie and Big)
4. The chemistry between us is alluring and unmistakable (Brad and Angelina can't touch us, lol!!!)
I can really go on and on, but you get my drift!!!

My friend K has calmed down some too. Mr. Smith still isn't allowed in her house if we have a get together, but she referred to him by his name last night, so that's a good sign (for some reason, we all call him by his full name, like it's just one long first name. How cute is that???). It used to be "That Asshole" or "That Trifling SOB" or "That Confused Fuck!" (classic, lol). Now all I have to do is tell my BFF Forever we're back together...

Here's to new beginnings!!!

So, the ex and I (not the Thug, DL one, the one I talked about last week), after a confession filled and stimulating weekend, have decided to give us another shot (he is, after all, the love of my life and vice versa, as we both confessed to each other over the weekend). We both expressed how we've both matured since we ended our relationship last March. He has come to terms with the fact he can't continue to deny what truly makes him happy (something I told him in the beginning, NOW HE GETS IT!!!) I have dated some interesting guys. I've dated the white guy, the nice guy, the good friend, the playa, the thug, the confused, the closeted, the flamboyant, the jealous, the paranoid individuals and have learned a lot about men, relationships, what I want vs. what I need, and who I want and need. I told him that it's him that I want, always has, always will be and that he knows he feels the same way, to which he quickly agreed. So we agreed to not pick up where we left off, but rather to start over and build a fresh, solid foundation and getting to know the "new and improved" versions of ourselves. I'm excited yall!!!! Anyways, I told some of my closest friends and one friend, she went ballistic! She has been there throughout it all and doesn't trust this changed person my guy says he is and she feels it will only lead to heartache for me, yet again. I understand where she's coming from, and I love her for being protective of me. But I'm trying to reassure her that I'm in control of my feelings now, I have matured in more ways than one (and so has he for that matter. I would know, I know him better than he knows himself), and that everything will be fine. So hopefully she'll come to terms, let's hope yall, cuz she my girl and I don't want her dislike for him to spill over.

To be loved, To be loved, OOHHH what a feelin...!!!

Greetings from Dallas everyone!!!! This is my last night here in Dallas and I can't wait to get home! Well, since I'm homeless, I can't wait to get to Chicago. The trip has been very educational and it's motivating and interesting to see what goes on behind the scenes at my job's corporate headquarters. Anyways, back to the real dirt! I had an interesting phone call with an ex of mine (the love of my life for whom I still carry a torch for, though I'll never make it known unless he does first. I'm classy like that yall, lol!!!!) Well what started out as friendly banter turned into an interesting, lovely, and flattering conversation. I didn't tell yall this, but me and this person went to breakfast a couple of weeks ago. It was purely innocent, just two old friends having breakfast. He was telling me his relationship stories and I chimed in with a few of my own. Whenever the two of us are together, there's this intense chemistry that just fills any room we're in. But I had self-control on that day, Thank God! We talked again last week, and I found out that he was recently single. We also shared reminisced over some intimate moments and I was touched over some of the things that he still remembers, even though it's been over a year. I was somewhat surprised and excited. I hope I'm not getting excited over nothing. I kinda feel like something's about to happen in the near future. We're going to the movies tomorrow night. Lord give me the strength...

Thank God for Lesson's Learned (Even if they have to come the hard way!!!)

So I went to visit my younger brother in jail today. He's 17 and got caught up in a drug raid. I have never been to jail nor have I ever visited anyone in jail, so this was definitely a milestone in my life, lol! Anyways, after waiting for what seemed like hours, I finally got to see my brother and I wasn't as shocked to see him as I was by the words that would soon come out of my brother's mouth.
For the last couple of years, my brother has been somewhat of a problem child(you know the type: liar, thief, hardhead) Both my sister and I have tried on several occasions to get him to see that he was headed for trouble, but as you well know, teenage boys don't listen.
Well guys, my brother told me that he was sorry that he never listened to me and my sister about how hard life would be if he didn't get his act together. He now knows what we meant and that he was sorry he had to learn that lesson the hard way. He also said that he needed to make some changes in his life and that he needed to go back to school. Yall, my mouth dropped!!!! He then went on to tell me that he realizes that the people whom he considered to be his friends Weren't and he knows this because they haven't come to see about him and never had his best interests in mind. I sat there like"Really now, where is MY brother???" He also told me that he was trying to contact my 22 year old brother (who's into the same things as this brother) and talk to him about making necessary changes in his life also before he ended up in the County, because he can now speak firsthand and say that the "Easy" life wasn't the life for him!!! I was so proud of him, I didn't know what to do.
Afterwards, we shot the breeze and cracked jokes on his hair and shoes (anything to lighten the mood). It was one of the most memorable 30 minutes of my life!!! When it was time for him to leave, he got up with tears in his eyes, which of course made me well up a little bit too! As I walked back to my car, I cried and cried, not tears of sadness, but of pride, hope, and the joy of knowing that my brother has truly been changed by this experience! Thank you Lord, you are truly a wondrous blessing! So I'm asking yall to pray for my brother and that he's released after court on this upcoming Thursday!! I will keep you posted on his progress.

The age old debate- Texas or Florida???

So I'm getting my clothes ready for my trip to Dallas, TX on Monday. My job is sending me for the entire week for some Mandatory training that I can do without. Normally I enjoy going to different cities and I will probably enjoy myself in Dallas, but I'm pissed yall, lol!!! I was supposed to be leaving for the Bahamas tomorrow with some of my best friends. My BFF Forever(Best Friend Forever Forever!), her husband, and another friend were going on a 3 day, 2 night cruise to the Bahamas Sunday and we were going to spend the rest of the week in Miami/Ft. Lauderdale and I WAS SO EXCITED!!!! We had been planning the trips since December and had all the plans finalized a couple weeks ago when I visited home. I gets back to work the next day and WHAM! An email from my corporate department with a flight itinerary for Dallas the same week I'm supposed to be sipping everything under the ocean sun! I damn near cried yall I was so mad. So I called my boss and she confirmed that I will be in Dallas for Management training and that it was MANDATORY!!!! So I'm going to be real bitter for weeks to come at the mere mention of Dallas, Florida, and cruises. That's ok, as long as they bring me a shot glass, I'll get over it I guess. Never been to Dallas, so at least I get to visit another city, right? Now I have to find bar listings, lol!!!

Step into my office please

So I have two employees to fire and took care of one yesterday. It wasn't a pleasurable event. I tried to break it to her as gently as I possibly could without hurting her feelings (I couldn't just tell her she sucked as a housekeeper). She took it rather well, even though she cried uncontrollably, which usually makes me cry, but I held my ground. I did after she left though, because I'm a big crybaby. This is the first time I had to fire someone. I guess I'm growing up, lol!! And to think, I have to fire someone else tomorrow, but replacing her will be difficult. I have done some interviews..I'm in trouble yall!!! These people make me nervous...some have been sentenced for Anger Management( Yeah come work at my hotel and kill my guests when they piss you off!! )
To end my Thursday on a high note, I drove home to Chicago last night and went out on a date with this guy I met last week. He's an awesome guy and we had a good time last night. We ate Chinese Food (Ming's on 71st and Yates...Try it, it's that oooooh weee!!!!), played some spades (I won Cutthroat and Partners, cant nobody get with this on the table), and went out for a couple of drinks. I slept at my sister's house and then I drove back to BH this morning to go to work an interview another batch of prospects. That didn't go to well. One had her car break down on her, the other had her just out of jail boyfriend waiting for her. What's a man to do???? I did just get my haircut, so I'm cute again, lol!!! That always makes me smile!

Chapter 2: The Honeymoon is Over

After a couple weeks had passed, I began noticing things about AM that annoyed me. He always asked me questions about guys that I used to date and what they did for me and what we did. It didn't bother me at first, but by now I was getting agitated. I kept thinking, "What does it matter? I'm not with them so who cares!!!" He also drank and smoked a lot of weed. Now don't get me wrong, I can drink with the best of them, but he did it all the time. I'm not into smoking anymore, but he smoked so when he smoked around me, I didn't say anything. Now that was a HUGE step for me because normally I make smokers stand on my backporch or outside so I don't have to smell it. He would also chat with people on my messenger list pretending to be me, telling friends and people that I've dated and remained friends with how I happy I was now that I had me a "...thug ass nigga who know how to bring the dick!" Then he would delete them from my list!! This would really piss me off for 3 reasons: 1. I don't talk openly about my personal life to any and everybody, that's what the members of SAU are for. 2. I don't speak T-H-U-G! 3. I'm not real big on FRAUD, lol. Don't pretend to be me! When he tried to laugh it off, I chastised him on these points and he accused me of still having feelings for some of these people! I'm like how jealous is he! The honeymoon was truly over...

Chapter 1: They meet

I met (lets call him AM) at the end of January. He was from Flint, MI. I haven't told you all this, but I work in Benton Harbor, MI, which is about an hour and a half from Chicago. Anyways, we talked to each other everyday and we hit it off instantly! We talked about life, issues with past loves, what we were looking for in future loves, things we like to do, any and everything. He was totally different from the guys that I was used to dating so that really intrigued me. He was very much on the DL (yeah, they still exist). He had been to jail but no one's judging. He told me several stories about the DL life, which really interested me. I'm not totally out with my lifestyle (my closest friends and a few family members, and of course the guys I date know about me. I act the same around everyone so I never know who knows and who doesn't, but who cares, right??? It's 2006! I don't label myself, I'm just me, no if's, and's or but's) So we decided to hook up. I drove to Flint to go and get him so that we can spend sometime together. And thus the story begins...

Why did I answer the phone when it said private?

So I answered my phone today when it said "Private" only to find out it was the guy I dated from the End of January up until a few weeks ago. The conversation was quick and painless, but I asked myself "Why is this fool calling me private?" I suppose I should tell you all the story of Thugback Mountain...

Nice to meet you!!

Hello all! This is my first blog ever so I'm not quite sure how this works. I was told by my friend Brown boy that Blogging is therapeutic for him, and Lord knows I can use some free therapy, lol!! And from what I can tell this looks like it's going to be good for me. I love the idea of being able to get things off my chest, vent, and express myself after a bad day without all the backtalk and unnecessary questions that only pisses you off even more! And I like the idea that I can talk about both problems that I'm having and good times that I'm enjoying and get feedback from people all over. This is really cool!!! So Kudos to all involved in this community and I look forward to blogging and chatting with you!