HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TARA AND GREG!!!!!

(Tara is my BFF Forever)

Red Light Special

So the other day, I was sitting at a stop light in the Haba, and this older white guy pulled up next to me, nothing wrong with that. But you know how you feel someone staring at you? Well, I turned and looked, and he was doing just that. It didn't bother me at first, because I'm used to it (lol, I'm a cutie!!!). So I turned back to check the light (still red!) Well, I felt those eyes on me yet again. This time when I turned around, I felt weird because the guy had this weird look in his eyes, nodding at me. I'm sitting there like "What's up with dude???" So I turned and looked again, and to my dismay, he was still staring, nodding, and began to play with his nipples (he didn't have on a shirt!!!!)

Anyways, I'm like WTF! First of all, this is the longest red light in creation. Second of all , this perv is trying to get me. As soon as that light turned green, I punched it yall!!! Only in the haba folks!

Well as fate would have it, Mr. Nasty Chest and the Misses tried to get a room at the hotel last night. When he saw me, he turned Casper white yall. It was sooooo funny! He was trying to find the words to say and everything. Wifey had to speak for him. I guess it's a good thing I'm a Christian, huh?

Lesson learned: Be careful who you try to pick up, you never know when they'll get the opportunity to blow your cover! Class dismissed, lol.

WHERE'S LOLABRIGADA

So my baby and I were making tacos on Sunday and he laughed at me because I didn't know I wasn't supposed to cut the head of lettuce with the big knife. Then he laughed at me because I didn't know how to cut the lettuce or the tomatoes. I'm trying to learn this new concept that millions of other people in the world apparently already know of: cooking.

I have always been what I like to call kitchen-deficient. I don't even own pots and pans. I believe that the microwave IS the greatest invention EVER!!! I remember being laughed out of the kitchen because I didn't know what a tbsp. of salt was (I thought it was 2 pounds). And because my minute rice took 20. And because I could't peel a potato. And because I didn't know you had to thaw meat before cooking. And I didn't know that just becasue I saw people put grease in a coffee can that you can't use coffee to cook. (let's just say that I thought that's where the grease came from, lol!)

I won't say that I hate cooking, I just don't have a passion or desire or liking or taste for it. Nor do I need or want or feel the need to cook. My thing is that if all my friends and family can cook (And they ALL can), then I'll never go hungry. (And I never have, lol!) I remember telling my grandmother as a kid that I didn't need to cook because I was gonna be rich and get a maid to do all of that for me! As you can see, even as a mere lad, I had delusions of grandeur. WHERE'S LOLABRIGADA!!!!!

I DID cook one meal in my lifetime. Last January, in order to satisfy my New Year's resolution (I did it in January to get it over with!), I made Chicken Cacciatore with white rice. I got the recipe from my BFF. When I told everyone I was doing it, everyone laughed and noone belived me!!! How rude, right??? Only one person volunteered to be my guinea pig: my baby, Mr. Smith (this was when we dated the first time). I slaved and slaved for what seemed like hours grocery shopping and cooking this meal. And yall know what? It was slammin!!!!! He ate 2 servings and he didn't die! I took some to my BFF for the final test and she gave me "... an F! For F***in Fantastic!!!" It was a proud moment in my life, but definitely something I wasn't looking forward to doing ever again.

I can really think of a thousand other things to do rather than cook. I can sleep, watch football, work, shop, watch a movie, read a book, take a shower, have sex, jump off a building, scratch my eyes out, rob a bank, you know, fun stuff! But for the sake of love I guess I need to study up on this Rachel Ray chick or the frugal gourmet. Cuz my baby likes it when I cook with him, so I guess I better adapt right? (I do have a secret: I can make potato salad from scratch. But dont tell NOOOObody, lol!)

And for Best Actor in a Leading Role, the Academy Award goes to...

Bob the Builder for his performance as an elderly unsuspecting maintenance man being victimized by a tyrannical drunken boss!!!

So I FINALLY had a meeting with my maintenance man about all of the SHIT he has been spreading about me the other day. It was one for the ages folks! Let me give yall a quick recap of how I got to this point...

Bob the Builder has been going around flapping his dentures at anyone who'll listen for months now about how I'm a no-good, lazy black ass manager who sleeps all day and never around when I'm supposed to. I'm also trying to make him look bad by purposely not ordering the supplies he needs to do his job. Oh yeah, and I'm the worst manager ever and that all I do is get drunk instead of my doing my job! I have been trying to be the bigger person because I haven't heard any of this directly, only hearsay. But when he went to another property to help out a few weeks back, he started up again and this time his comments got all the way to my boss. When I showed up for my District meeting a couple weeks ago, several GM's as well as my boss confronted me about the comments from Bob. So yall know I was pissed, embarrassed, and all that good stuff, right???

Just so yall know, Bob is a 70 year old white man from West Virginia. He has tried to pick up housekeepers and has dallied with some of the local, shall we call them, independent women of the streets. We all think he has an issue taking instruction from me because I'm a 26 yr old Black man. He is full of crap and everyone knows it. He has driven every manager that he's worked with at this hotel crazy and he's about this close to retirement.

Well the other day, when he accused me of being the lazy drunk from hell, I had reached my boiling point. My immediate reaction was that my feelings were hurt. I may be the boss, but I'm still human. I wanted to cry (I'm a sensitive soul, lol!), but my pride wouldn't let me. So in an order to bury this BS once and for all, I called up another GM to sit in on the meeting with me. That's when we watched one of the most memorable performances in Academy Award History live and in person.

As I discussed with Bob the reason for the meeting, he immediately took the defense. He went on and on about how has never said any negative things about me and that he has only made remarks/opinions because he's an opinionated person. We shouldn't take offense to them. Then he talked about how he's always been a team player and never talks about anyone behind his back. (OMG!!!!!!) When he was a plant manager, he fired anyone who took part in discrediting him or his team. Good advice, huh? He also spoke of how he's always respected me as a manager and that he expects the same respect from me! I was so pissed at this point, the other GM had to step in and continue the meeting, telling Bob basically that any issues, concerns have to go through me and not around me and over me (Keep family business in house!!!!). At the end of the movie, err, I mean meeting, he said the words that sealed his Oscar win:
"I'm just shocked and upset about this meeting. I don't know what to say about all this right now! May I please leave?" and exited the room with all of the dramatic flair Merryl Streep used to get into her car in "The Devil Wears Prada" (Excellent movie bytheway. All he was missing was the sunglasses).
The GM and I looked at each other and all we could do was ask what the hell just happened? He was so full of it yall, I was almost convinced!!!

Later, I was told that he had tears in his eyes. Our question was whether his feelings were really hurt or was his blood pressure just up so high after our meeting and he was so mad a being called out? Who knows right? Then he called off yesterday and announced he was going to start his vacation early. I kinda hope he decides to retire while on vacation. I should only be so lucky.

PS... Stay tuned, because coming up next, the award for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a workplace setting!!!

The San Francisco treat

So my baby and I had a FANTABULOUS time in San Francisco!!!!! The city is so unbelievable on sooo many levels. Everyone there was so friendly and easy to get along with and helpful, I was blown away. There was also so much to do. We rode the trolleys, did a tour of the Ocean and Alcatraz, visited museums, shopped, bought $140 worth of Ghiradelli's Chocolate, went through Chinatownate soooo much Chinese food (mine and his absolute fave) Did you know that fried rice doesn't have to be brown??? Yep, it was fried white rice out there. And it tasted it way better! We also drank ourselves into rehab, lol!!!!!

We took many pictures too. They were very cute. We painted that town red! So what was the coolest thing to happen to us? On Friday, we were at this bar in Chinatown and the bartender was playing this game with the patrons. You put the dice in a cup and slam the cup on the table. Then you call out how many dice of a certain number you think are showing from all the players. It was really cool. The person who loses all of their dice first has to buy the round of drinks for all the players. What was soooo cool about the game was that later that night, they were playing the same game in Pirates of the Caribbean:Dead Man's Chest. I was shocked! I was like "Oooh I know that game!!!"

Overall, we had a great time in a great city. I have to pick the city for vacation next year, so I'm taking suggestions....

Packing light: How's that for a concept?

So I have decided to pack for my trip TODAY rather than tomorrow because I won't have time. I told my baby I would get a head start on it and he only wants us to have carry-ons so he left me with these parting words: "Pack light." I'm sorry, I don't speak that language, lol!!! Being that I am perhaps the world's worst packer, this is an impossible task. The way I pack, you'd think I was leaving the planet and never returning. Why do I pack so much? Because like my grandmother always says, "You never know."

What if it rains? What if it snows? (I know it's July but I'm from Chicago, so ANYTHING is possible, lol!) What if it's too hot? What if it's too cold? And the big one that gets me everytime, WHAT IF I SPILL SOMETHING???

Fortunately, I looked on Yahoo Weather today to check out the temps. Much to my surprise and/or dismay, The highest it'll be in Frisco this week is 63. Nice but I wont get to wear my shorts. Oh well, jeans it is.

Pack light? Hmm, what does that mean? I went all over the Haba today trying to find a store with some decent carry-on luggage. I finally ended up at TJ Maxx and saw some nice bags. I was thinking duffel bag, but what do I know, right? So I asked this lady if she could help me find a decent carry-on. She picked out some nice stuff, being that she called herself an avid flyer. So we decided on a cute brown carry-on suitcase for $39.99 (I got the max for the minimum, minimum price! Yall remember the commercial, LOL!)

When I started packing, I pretty much knew that this was going to be a headache. Through strategic folding and rolling, I did manage to pack 6 outfits and two pair of shoes. Now for those who know me, deciding on just three pair of shoes (including the ones I'm wearing) isn't an ordinary feat. I have a big shoe and watch fetish, so the outfits I packed had to match my shoes and my watches. I hope I didn't forget anything. I'm also going to update my IPOD tonight to save more space.

Mr. Smith better be glad I love him, cuz packing light is for the birds and was created by the DEVIL, lol

Questions???

So, after the busiest week ever (6 days, 9 desk/regular shifts, 1 in hskp, 1 in laundry, 2 100% occupancy nights, 20 hours of interviews, 20 hrs of sleep), I have a few questions I need some serious answers to:

1. Why do people wear T-shirts and jeans to a job interview?
2. Why do people wear FLIP FLOPS WITH FLOWERS ON THEM to a job interview?
3. Why do people who were sentenced for anger management, assault and battery, and dog sodomization try to interview for jobs in customer service?
4. Why do people only want to work 8a-1p?
5. Why do people think that just because they request a day off, their entitled to it and take it even after the request was denied?
6. Why do people think that just because they have a headache on a beautiful Saturday afternoon that they can't come to work?
7. Why is it always spouse 2 actin a damn fool when you tell spouse 1 that they can't do something?
8. Why do people call you a f$&*^! liar and then when you confront them, they act like they don't know what you're talking about?
9. Why do people claim they fixed something when they know good and damn well they didn't?
10. Why do people think $49.99 a night pays for a jacuzzi suite and room service?
11. Why are people stupid?
12. Why did the chicken cross the road?
13. Why ask why?

Its the questions, the questions...